What does being "productive" even mean?

Productive - adjective

Both of these definitions immediately make me feel like a failure. I have a high expectation of myself to be abundantly productive daily, and every night, it never feels like enough. Yesterday for example; I ran out to the gas station for milk, made a fort in the dining room for my daughter as a fun place to do her reading, then made a 5-day meal plan and grocery list, ordered groceries from 2 different stores, and cleaned out and organized my spices (ADHD at it's finest when I was looking for what I needed). After, I sat on the couch to chill for a few minutes with my daughter because it was only 10:00 am! And all I could think of was what else must get done to make it a "productive" day. I made lunch, picked up groceries & put them all away, more snuggling, board games, coloring, cooked a nice dinner, played with the dogs, more games, picked up the mess of the day, set up the coffee, did some work for my business, and ended the day with a zoom call with my mentor and other small business owners. Yet I still laid in bed last night, wishing I had done more.

Today, my daughter is having a tough time adjusting to post-8-day Florida vacation mode. We made it to a couple of planned appointments this morning, went out for lunch, and came home for some chill time. As I got her ready to do her last math assignment before going back to school tomorrow, she was making it clear that she wasn't interested. So, instead of trying to clean up the kitchen or do some other chore while she got it done, I laid on the hard floor in her fort with her and walked her through the assignment, doing my best to make it somewhat enjoyable. THAT should be the definition of productive! Not only did we get her work done, but it wasn't unbearable either. 

I have so many things that could be accomplished today, but I'm leaving a lot of flexibility for meltdowns, meals, & memories. I know that tomorrow is already gone because it's an in-office day, so I guess I was trying to make up for it by filling today with as much "productivity" as I could. But, all it did was raise my anxiety and put unrealistic expectations on myself and my family. So, snuggling and watching Moana it is. Later, I will make dinner, clean up the kitchen, and get some journaling & reading in before bed. But, that's all I'm putting on myself for today.

I encourage you to redefine productivity in your life. Taking care of yourself, such as actually eating during the day, reading, or even napping is just as productive if it's adding to your energy, motivation, or peace. Taking care of your family, even if it means letting the laundry piles grow, sitting on the couch for 2 hours, or taking some time off of work is just as productive if it adds to your family's peace & joy for the day.

The sooner you lower your expectations of yourself, the more peace and joy you will allow into your life.

~Ang